By the seat of my pants

Thursday mid-day I received a phone call.  The school is having "an event," can you attend ?
From past experience these events are social events with parades and / or student entertainment.

I usually take a thermos of coffee discretely spiked with Thai rum.
It relaxes me and numbs all my body aches.
I'm there as a "special guest,"  no longer in any teaching capacity.

These phone call invitations are usually followed up with the delivery of a Thai written invitation.
I don't read Thai.

This invitation was delivered to me at 8:30 p.m.
I had already been dozing for an hour in front of the TV.
I did not bother to open the letter.  I should have.

At six in the morning I did open the letter and was flabbergasted to have both a Thai and English version of the letter.

The English version was obviously translated with GOOGLE Translate.

"... opening new born education With information and technology department.... " probably means they are starting a new education curriculum.

Reading further into the letter, it sounds like they expect a speech or lecture from me.


Three hours to prepare.... where's the rum bottle

This lecture is going to be by the seat of my pants phrases.org.uk