Fwd: funny

Don't Drink and Drive, You might hit a bump and spill something.

It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame. You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. We have enough "youth". How about a fountain of "smart"? The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party. When blonds have more fun,do they know it?

Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two it's an amusement park.

LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES USE BIRTH CONTROL.

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

If at first you don't succeed skydiving is not for you.

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Red meat is not bad for you.  Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs.

Alabama state motto:  At least we're not Mississippi

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population

"You know why a banana is like a politician?" "He comes in and first he is green, then he turns yellow and then he's rotten."

"I think Congressmen should wear uniforms, like NASCAR drivers,  so we could identify their corporate sponsors."

The reason Politicians try so

hard to get re-elected is that they

would 'hate' to have to make a living

under the laws they've passed.